by Tom Tapp

Check out our one-on-one with Legend's blue-eyed heartthrob Jared Leto

Like the killer phoning from upstairs, the madman stalking lovers' lane or the blind date that leads to becoming an involuntary organ donor, the world of celebrity has its own gaggle of tall tales. Here are a chilly baker's dozen that are too good to be true. And, of course, they aren't. Or are they?

1. Life and Death Mathers
The myth: Jerry "The Beaver" Mathers died in Vietnam.
The reality: Actually, he was in the Air National Guard, and when someone with a similiar name was killed, the wire services reported it was the Beav. Thankfully, Mathers survived his tour of duty to go on to a career in projects like Down the Drain and Still the Beaver.

2.  Still the Beaver
The myth: Eddie Haskell became porn star Johnny "The Wad" Holmes.
The reality: Actually, former Leave It to Beaver costar Ken Osmond went on to become an 18-year vet of the LAPD. But he did get to carry a really big night stick.

3.  Johnny on the Spot
The myth: During one visit to the Tonight show, Zsa Zsa Gabor brought her cat to sit in her lap. She asked Johnny Carson, "Would you like to pet my pussy?" Carson supposedly said, "I'd love to, but you'll have to remove that darn cat."
The reality: This one is so purr-fect, we wish it were true.

4. Only Joshing
The myth: Josh Saviano of Wonder Years is Marilyn Manson.
The reality: The legend persists despite the fact that Saviano repeatedly denies it. Maybe it's because the king of freakdom seems like a such a product of high school geekdom.

5. Tying the Knot Not
The myth: An update of the old Rock Hudson-Jim Nabors nuptials, this one has Keanu Reeves and David Geffen walkin' down the aisle.
The reality: Heck, not even the President can keep his sex life private--don't you think we'd have photos of this by now?

6. Rod in Name Only
The myth: Rod Stewart supposedly had his stomach pumped in this variant of the old "head cheerleader and the football team" story.
The reality: Maybe if it were Monica Lewinsky...

7. Getting It in Gere
The myth: The details are too hairy to repeat, but everyone's cousin's friend was supposedly in the emergency room when Richard Gere appeared with a furry friend in a place where the sun don't shine.
The reality: We're still waiting for it.

8. This One's Rich
The myth: Adam Rich was murdered by an overwrought, out-of-work Hollywood stagehand.
The reality: Might magazine contacted the onetime Eight Is Enough tyke and asked for his cooperation in a story about his demise. Rich got such a chuckle out of the idea that he pitched in, providing family photos, background info and even proofing the piece for, er, accuracy.

9.  Puppet Perversions
The myth: Bert and Ernie are gay.
The reality: Fundamentalist groups protested the presence of the two longtime companions, until everyone realized--they're puppets. Besides, it's a well-documented fact that Ernie likes his bananas chopped and in peanut butter sandwiches.

10. Spirited Tale
The myth: The ghost of a boy who committed suicide in the house where Three Men and a Baby was filmed makes an onscreen appearance.
The reality: That sure looks like the shape of a boy lurking behind the curtains in one scene as the baby's mother comes to claim her. Or maybe it's only the remnants of Steve Guttenberg's career.

11. Think Pink
The myth: Pink Floyd's Dark Side of the Moon was recorded to coincide with scenes in The Wizard of Oz.
The reality: This is your brain on drugs.

12. Bunch of Hooey
The myth: Susan Olsen (you know her as Cindy Brady from TV's Brady Bunch) did herself in.
The reality: Actually, it was another cute TV blonde with dimples who committed suicide: Anissa Jones, better known as Buffy on Family Affair.

13. The Jacko Pot
The myth: Michael Jackson.
The reality: 'Nuff said.